It’s hard to get back into running. Heck, I decided to run in a treadmill because I’m ashamed to run outside! I’ll admit that I’m out-of-shape and I didn’t really like that I had to run. I have been living a sedentary life, jumped from 135 lbs to 155 lbs and I truly do not like that I’ve let myself go.

Now… there will be some people who will say,

“You’re fine, what are you talking about?”

“YOU’RE NOT FAT! OMG… why are you stressing?”

“You’re 155 lbs? Well I’m 180 lbs, so quit complaining. That’s nothing.”

People kept telling me these and that’s how I’ve gained weight. Obviously, it’s NOT okay to be overweight. It puts me at a higher risk of other diseases. I’m all for the “accept yourself, love yourself, love your curves,” but it’s so much healthier to exercise and eat right.

I’m not going to lose weight to feel accepted.

The thing is, I want to lose weight not only to look and feel good, but I want to avoid the chance of having Diabetes, which runs in my family by the way! Plus, I really do feel unhealthy, my self-esteem has gone down, and I cannot fit in any of my clothes anymore! There’s no way that I’m going to buy new clothes!!! No fucking way!!!

SO… I’ve bit the bullet (NOT LITERALLY! UGH, chill!) and decided to join the #MarineCorpsMarathon. I didn’t think that I was going to get accepted by the #MCMlottery, so heck, I decided to just sign up. In my mind, I was thinking, “If it’s meant to be for me to run the marathon, then it’s meant to be.” More than half of me wanted to join so bad, but a small part of me thought I was fucking crazy.

“YOU’RE NOT FAT! OMG… why are you stressing?”

And then a week after signing up, I got FREAKIN’ ACCEPTED!

So here I am, I created a blog to write my journey on how I strive to train for my FIRST marathon ever!

I will strive to keep this blog updated as best as I can.

So here’s to the first run of the #MCM beginner’s training!